It's not even Friday, and I'm posting. Whaaaaaaaa?
Yes! I thought of a good low-transaction-cost (for me) post, so here it goes:
Embee and I decided to do the Oprah detox/cleanse. The one that Kathy Freston writes about in her book. The one that La Dooce did for awhile, until she got sick.
In a nutshell, the cleanse seeks to get all the toxins/inflammation out of your system. For three weeks, you stick to a vegan diet, with the added joy of no alcohol, caffeine, sugar, artificial crap, or gluten. Anyone who's ever seen me at a wine and cheese knows that this is quite the far cry from my preferred menu.
But I tend to rely on caffeine to get me through the day (and sometimes alcohol to get me through the night), which clearly isn't healthy. I wanted to know if I could feel Better than I typically feel. So I bought the book and read it. I don't buy into everything Freston wrote (I just don't think colonics can possibly be beneficial) but still like the idea of eating clean for awhile.
Embee and I decided we'd start the Monday after the Fourth of July. After Dooce got so sick during the cleanse, we reconsidered but ultimately, we decided we still felt like trying it. We figured, there's no way we could be harmed by cutting out alcohol, fake shit, and sugar. We decided to plan carefully to eat the stuff we're allowed to eat, and stop if we began to feel like ass.
So we went for it. Here (witness, the low-budget part of this post) are some of my emails to Embee over the three weeks:
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Day One
Super delish black bean puree/salsa/baked corn chip/tomato dinner last night. Dave even ate it. I added cheese to his, for a nacho-ier experience.
I think Whole Foods is behind this cleanse trend. Certainly they benefited last night, to the tune of 85 ducats worth of compliant foods. It was fun to look at all the products. There's sugar in everything. You're not fooling me with this "evaporated cane juice" trickery, Whole Foods!
I didn't buy any frozen meals or pre-fab stuff, really. I kind of am in the mindset of steering clear of processed foods, even permitted ones, as much as possible. Cramming my system with fruits, veg, and nuts in their natural state. Take that, colon!
Larabar for breakfast. Pecan pie. Totally like pre-chewed nut paste, and also kind of oily. 200 calories, 120 of which from fat. Tasty, though.
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Day Three
Up muy temprano for Pilates. Pi-early-s. Would commit murder for a cup of coffee right now. Also some asshole is making toast in the kitchen. Want. Toast.
M_____ did a cleanse much like ours last month (more of a global nutritionist lifestyle thing; she gets chix breast and fish but is similarly gluten/dairy/sugar free) and said we will start to notice betterness feelings tomorrow or Sat. We'd better.
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Day Four
I just ate the biggest banana I've ever seen (organic!) with some peanut butter made of nothing but peanuts (organic peanuts!). So freaking stuffed. I also had some roasted peanuts as a snack earlier. Other than those, I've been a vegan rawtarian for two days. unprecedented!
I took pictures of the banana for my blog. And took it to show my friend Heather. It was lewd, this banana.
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Day Five
My body decided to reward me with a sua sponte colonic this morning. I couldn't be happier.
The rice pasta last night was meh plus. Better than just meh, but not out of meh range. I think we overcooked it. The instructions say 14-16 minutes. NO.
Day 11
Bagel Day is tough. It's the smell of toasting carbs that torments me.
Cinnamon Roll larabar is helping. That, and avoiding the kitchen.
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Day 15
Can you believe it's already Day 15? We went to Real Food Daily for dinner on Sat, and Fatty's (yep, that's its name) in Eagle Rock on Friday. Goes to show how much Dave has changed since we first knew him, huh? [Ed: Dave would not have been caught dead at a vegan place circa 2001, let alone two back to back vegan dinners.]
Yesterday at the Angel's game with my dad, I ate peanuts. Literally, peanuts. And didn't even envy the CPK pizza.
Right now, I miss yogurt. Specifically, lime yogurt.
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Day 16
Billed 15 hours yesterday and back at it at 7 this morning. Coffeeless.
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Day 18
This week is brutal at work, so cleansed energy is much appreciated.
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Day 22
22 Days later, and I'm feeeeeeling gooood. <<Nina Simone voice>>
Today just feels like Day 22. Keeping it up. But with a bit more flexibility, as discussed.
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Yeah, Embee and I kind of loved the whole experience. It was horribly inconvenient and time-consuming and probably an undue burden on those who were foolish enough to try to share a meal with me, but in the end, I do feel Better. Significantly Better. I've been sleeping better, getting up early, feeling strong and capable. Also, and this wasn't really the goal, but we both lost weight. so, yes please!
Of course, it's hard to know where to give the credit. Was it the gluten holding me back all these years, or the cheese? Am I sleeping better because of our new mattress? Or because I started exercising again? Or because I haven't had a glass of wine in over three weeks? Ultimately, the answer doesn't matter. Health is holistic, right, so I might as well keep fighting on all fronts - diet, exercise, rest, etc. It's not like I'll be hardcore vegan from here on out, or that I'll never spearhead another pub crawl. But I think, most of the time, I'll be keeping on keeping on.
p.s. Fritos are vegan.