December 11, 2008

Friday Flotsam XLVI

Sorry about that hiatus.  I was in a turkey coma, and then I was in Pittsburgh visiting my inlaws. 

The cool thing was, it snowed while were were in Pittsburgh.  I was really really excited.  Full disclosure: it was only about 2 inches.  I acknowledge that it's a little douchey to get excited about 2 inches, but then again my law school roommate Angie dated a guy who fully expected her to get excited about 2 inches.

More wholesome topics:
Today is the 5-year anniversary of the day I adopted the little ninja.  At the time, bringing her home felt like the biggest leap I'd ever taken.

1214 

The fetus that is currently gestating in my uterus may have some influence in diminishing the retrospective size of that leap, but really, I just feel so lucky to have her. 

Speaking of the the fetus, all seems to be progressing well on that front.  My abdominal region is grotesquely distended, but still the secretaries at my office very kindly say that I look cute. 

My fingernails are growing like gangbusters, as seen here in this action shot of me making an origami crane.

651 

My plan was to grow them until Halloween, then file them to viscious points and paint them black, but I had to cut them off a week early because I kept stabbing myself in the cornea while trying to take out my contacts.  They're pretty long again, though.  It's hard to keep up with them.

This weekend, we are graced with a visit by Mr. Bell Tower.  We will have a lot of fun, and also he will help us get our Christmas tree into the stand.  The perfect guest! 

November 21, 2008

Friday Flotsam XLV

Me:  The baby is in my guts.

Dave: ???

Me:  It is squishing around inside my innards.  And it doesn't have any frame of reference to know that there's a non-guts life to be had!

Dave:  The baby is in the Matrix.

I laughed almost as hard as I would have laughed if Dave had made a Matrix joke in 1999.  Of course, if Dave had made a Matrix joke in 1999, I wouldn't have heard it, because we didn't know each other then and we lived in different states.  Also, if I had been pregnant in 1999, that would have been problematic.

***

Holiday movies!  My super talented comedy screenwriter friend wrote Four Christmases.  If you like laughing, you should go see it.  Much better than Austria, or whatever that Nicole Kidman movie is called.

***

VU OUT!

November 14, 2008

Friday Flotsam XLIV

This weekend is marked with big foil stars on my calendar, which means only one thing: A visit from Matt and Melati.  EEEEE! In anticipation of their visit, Dave, Ginger and I all got haircuts on Thursday.  Only Ginger had her anal glands expressed, though.  As far as I know.

Here are the words that Ginger knows:

1.  Dinner
2.  Breakfast (synonymous with previous, as far as she's concerned)
3.  Walk(y)
4.  Sit
5.  Lie Down
6.  Roll Over
7.  Paw (= shake)
8.  Come
9.  Stay (for a few seconds)
10.  No (also optional)
11. Ramp (as in, use your $150, 4'x3' foam wedge to get down off the bed so that you don't rack up another $500 in vet bills from making flying leaps to the ground)
12. Outside
13.  Go Potty (especially handy on cold nights)
14.  Greenie (the holy grail)
15.  Ginger (identity is everything)

November 07, 2008

Friday Flotsam XLIII

On this fine Friday I have a court appearance downtown.  It should be a fairly uneventful status conference, no need for oratory.  That said, Friday hearings are a mixed bag.

Pro:  They guarantee a nice chunk of billable hours on a day that is typically lackluster, billing-wise.

Con:  Have to wear a suit on jeans day. 

Pro:  Going to court is kind of the whole point of being a litigator, and it's always a wee thrill.

Con:  Return to work late morning when both parking spaces and bagel selection will be picked over.

I guess at this point I just just count myself lucky that I can pull up my suit pants (with assistance of Bella Band) and not be naked in the courtroom.  It's Week 18 in Gestation Land, and my belly is really starting to assert itself.

Also, may i just say that I am freaking STOKED that I'm going to be birthin this baby during the Obama Presidency?  Hurrah to bringing new life into a newly hopeful nation!

October 31, 2008

Friday Flotsam XLII

What are you doing for Halloween?  Today there is trick or treating at work for the chillun of the workers.  I generously brought in leftover candy that I scored from Bren's birthday pinata on August 2.  Is that wrong?  And I ate all the little packets of Nerds myself, so that kids get the dregs.  Too bad for them!  It's free candy! (Also, where's the dang "n with tilde" key???" ~~~)

Tonight, I am... doing nothing festive.  After a week of Loving The Nightlife (Groundlings show on Monday, Matt Nathanson concert Wednesday, Spring Awakening last night) we are spending All Hallow's Eve at home, getting ready for Eia's baby shower to tomorrow.  Which by the way is going to be awesome.  It is a Ninja Baby theme, which means lots of vaguely Japanesey goodness.  I'm serving sushi at a baby shower!  I, not McCain, am a maverick.  (Hi, Dad.  I miss her, too.)

Speaking of McCain (not nicely)- it's totally my birthday on Monday so do me a birthday favor and vote next week.   Personally, I'll be voting for Obama (shocker!) and hope you will, too.  Particularly if you live in OH, FL, PA, VA, NV, NM, MO, etc.  I'm looking at you, Pittsburgh in-laws! 

Hope you all turn plenty of tricks this weekend!

October 24, 2008

Friday Flotsam XLI

Many thanks for all the lovely fetal well wishes!  Especially nice in a week when your biggest jeans no longer button. 

In an effort to max ourselves out on the Night Life before we are stuck home with a ten pound parasite, Dave and I have made a bunch of plans to go out on school nights.  This is not like us.  I'm usually in yoga pants and a hoodie by 8 p.m.  Last night we went to see Dar Williams at the El Rey.  I love Dar Williams, have seen her perfom in 4 different states, I love her so much. 

At last night's show, I found myself standing in a pod of assorted women who also love Dar, and who also know all the words to her songs.  These women didn't seem to know each other, but shared the commonality that they'd all had quite a bit to drink during the opening act, leaving them just unihibited enough that they had no compunction about singing along lustily to every song.  They actually had really pretty voices, and Dar's songs aren't that hard to sing.  Kind of like Madonna or Britney.  Anyway, the chorus around me provided me with all the justification I needed to sing along myself.  It was super fun, and I think Dar felt the love.

Hope all y'all spend your weekends in full voice!

October 16, 2008

Friday Flotsam XL

My marriage turned three last week. hurrah!  Traditionally, I commemorate my anniversary with a detailed paean to my excellent husband.  This year, my task is made significantly easier because my affection for Dave has been refined to a laser-like focus.  At this time, my pro-Dave feelings are unitary, and immense.  And also microscopic. 

Because this year, I salute Dave for his sperm.  Singular.  Not all his sperms, just the one champ that buddied up with my ovum and got me knocked up.

Yep, there's a new generation of VU gestating away in my uterus.  This week is the start of the second trimester, and I've been dying to let you guys know.

So far, it's  been a very nice fetus - no barf inducements, looking good on the ultrasounds, timed for a mid-April arrival. 

So thanks for the quality sperm, honey.  I'll take it from here.

October 10, 2008

Friday Flotsam XXXIX

you see a lot of fancy lettuce these days, at restaurants and at the grocery story.
mesclun
field greens
mixed greens
baby lettuces
 
then there are the component lettuces to these mixes.  arugula.  radicchio.  baby spinach.
least of these lettuces is frisee.  I fucking hate frisee. It is impossible to have nice manners when eating frisee.  It tickles my throat in an irritating way.  and it tastes bitter and evil.
 
here is a picture of my enemy
 
Choking hazard
 
i'm not real big on beet greens, either.
 
now i must rush off to mediation.  big day.  stopping blogging. go work.  OK!

October 03, 2008

Friday Flotsam XXVIII

Typepad wouldn't let me log in last night, and now I am illicity blogging from work.  Which probably isn't very prudent.

This weekend, I am going to the UCLA football game, going to book club meeting with British tea theme, going to big gay birthday bash, and in between tidying house, playing with craft projects, and reading book for book club.

If I get fired for blogging, I will do crafts M-F next week.  Which sounds pretty good right about now.

October is a choice time for crafts.

Covert Blogging Mission Complete (Shabbily).

September 25, 2008

Friday Flotsam XXVII

When my Grammy tells stories about the Great Depression, they are always stories about laughing with her friends all evening long.  Well, when they weren't about not being able to buy disposable feminine hygiene products.  But mostly, they are about laughing with friends.

Which may explain why, during these last weeks of financial insanity, I find myself laughing all the time.  And it's not just me - everyone seems to be constantly cracking up.  Not just cheap gallows humor.  It's like we've decided that we simply have to find the joy.

To be fair, I did have dinner last weekend with some of my most hilarious friends, including one objectively hysterical (and objectively successful) comedy screenwriter, who told us stories of the hours after his son's recent birth.  Apparently, the decision to circumsize the baby was based on his daddy's desire to ensure that the baby received blow jobs as soon and as frequently as possible.

Then again, I laughed almost as hard today watching a motorcycle cop on Sunset Boulevard.  He parked his bike at the bottom of the winding hill that runs behind UCLA.  As I began the drive up the hill, a phalanx of cars came down the hills.  The cop marched his jackbooted ass into the street and hand-flagged the zooming leader of the pack to the curb to treat him to a little moving violation.  It was absurdly funny.  But then, I was on the way to hear whatever good news my financial planner had to share with me today, so I was in perhaps a wierdly receptive place.